Happy wife, Happy life.

Approach with caution:

There are going to be numerous times throughout your marriage, when you can tell as a husband, that your wife is upset and you don’t know why.  You will hope and pray that you aren’t the reason she is upset, but deep down, you know it’s you.  As a man, your natural inclination is to ask “is everything okay?” and hope to hear “yea” and then you carry on about your day, like you do with your male cohorts at work, or when your hanging out with your buddies.  But as a husband, it is key to understand this is not how this conversation is going to go, ever.   Even if she does respond “yea everything is ok” trust me it is not.  If she is upset enough to the point that she is non verbally communicating that she is upset, and you as a man are able to pick up on this, understand, the situation is probably worse than you think.

How you approach an upset wife can be a very delicate issue, and your ability to master this will be a key element in maintaining a thriving marriage.   The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire.  It is possible to approach an upset wife in such a matter, which not only is she upset for the original reason.  But now she will add a multiplier, and be upset with you for approach when trying to broach the topic.  You now have twice as much work to do, and twice as much time and effort to put forth to resolve what the original underlying issue is.

The next time you find you have an upset wife on your hands, and you really want to address the situation, you want to create an atmosphere that is non-confrontational.  It should not feel like two hostile countries coming together for begrudging, passively hostile negotiations.  Nor it a cut throat business deal, where you have to make sure you don’t get the short end of the stick.  Think of it as a peaceful negotiation where you truly want all parties to be happy with the outcome. It can be hard to balance your natural tendencies in this situation, but you have to approach the situation from a perspective of love.

A good approach is to walk up to her, and begin to give her a shoulder massage.  In place of a shoulder massage, pour her a glass of her favorite wine, which is sure to be appreciated.  Let her know that you notice that she is upset, but you are not sure why, is there anything that you can do to help? Is it something I have done?  Chances are she will answer you honestly and begin the process of confronting an issue and getting it behind you as a couple.  There is also still a chance that the problem isn’t you at all.  But now you have given your spouse the ability to get something off her chest and communicate something to you that she otherwise might not have.  Sometimes you and your manly senses can even assist her in dealing with a situation, thus making her love you even more.   It’s also giving room in the relationship for communication.  Which I sincerely hope that you know is the key element to a thriving marriage.   Obviously there are many variables and even more approaches that can be taken that work.   Please, share your thoughts and experiences on what has worked for you when it comes to approaching your spouse.